My Life is Reality T.V.

The following entry has been rated PG-13, due to some sexual content and violence.

I need to set something straight. Ha, that line is funny to me because I just happen to know what I am going to be writing today. You'll understand later, I promise. So, as I was saying, I need to set something straight. The friend that I mentioned in my last entry, Alden, is actually not my 'gay' best friend per say. Gay is my way of saying extremely platonic. With that being said, my friend Alden is one of the straightest guys I know, even though he dresses way too nice and likes to dance way too much for most of society to believe that he is.

And now, for the story.

It was a Friday evening, and I was feeling the urge. I needed to bust a move. Thank goodness for Alden, who is always down to bust a move. Little did I know that this particular evening, he would prove just how awesome of a move-buster he actually is.

We put on the glam, partook in a little pre-game, and set out on a long cold walk to a club called "R Place".

When we arrived, the club was low key. Of course it was only 8:30 p.m., and so we had time to get comfortable, and enjoy some conversing over some drinks. Alden, whiskey 'n' coke in hand, led the way to the third floor of the club and I followed, my rum 'n' coke in hand. On the top floor, we found the dance floor to be covered in chairs pointing towards a stage. We settled at a table behind all those chairs and waited for something exciting to happen.

Almost two hours, a few drinks, and many deep conversations later, a very elaborate dragqueen stepped on stage and started the show. Surprise!

I have to say, those ladies know how to put on a show! After the first song was over, the hostess dragqueen called out to the crowd to send up a straight girl. They found a skinny, timid looking girl and brought her up. Then, of course, the hostess asked for a hardcore lesbian and found a vibrant, confident lesbian to come up and then dance with the straight girl in front of the audience. Next, of course, the hostess asked for a straight male. Since I am such a nice person, I made it really easy for her to find her victim. I began screaming "He's straight!! He is soooo straight!!" and violently pointing at Alden. A couple people on the other side of Alden caught on and began helping me, pointing aggressively and screaming about how straight he is. The hostess recognized our ape-like gestures and called Alden to the stage. Then, she asked for, and I quote, "the gayest boy here". And if the boy she pulled up was not the 'gayest', he was pretty darn close.

Wondering what happened next? Then, you should watch this video:

In case you can't understand because I am freaking out audibly, the hostess definitely says something like "now that's some shit", and "this is NOT your first time at the rodeo". I was dying a little bit during all of this.

I actually had a guy approach me and say how disappointed he was that I spread the news that Alden was straight because he had been "eye-balling" him all evening. Sorry, bud!

So, R Place gets a thumbs up for making our weekend adventure successful, and Alden gets a thumbs up for showing up the gay boys with his ultimate moves!